11-17/11-20 2006 In class essay on Rabbit Proof Fence

Lesson:

Today we put it all together and wrote an in-class essay!! If you were absent, write yours at home (I prefer typed)

How do I start?
* Introductions
* Your first paragraph for this paper should include:
* A way to grab your reader that fits your paper.
* An overview for your reader.
* Your thesis and blueprint.

Here's an example:

You hear footsteps around the corner. It could be the runaways. If you catch these three girls it could be your ticket to freedom. It’s your chance to live a free life with your daughter, but can you do it? Can you lock up three innocent girls who want nothing more than to see their mom? In Phillip Noyce’s adaptation of Rabbit Proof Fence, a book by Dorris Pilkington, an aboriginal Tracker is faced with this very dilemma. As we watch him hunt down the three runaways his actions force us to ask the question: who is he really working for? Although, through his actions of tracking down runaways, the Tracker appears to be working for Mr. Neville, the Tracker in the movie is working for both the escaped girls and his daughter’s freedom. By holding the Tracker’s daughter captive, Mr. Neville tries to control the Tracker but we can see his true colors with his lackluster searching when he closes in on the girls, his vocal admiration and sympathy for them, and his failure to protest when they give up their search.

Then what?
* This paragraph is followed by three more paragraphs to support this. Each paragraph has a theme that supports your thesis.
* Although the tracker has caught all the girls before he is only catching them to earn the freedom of his daughter
* Although the Tracker works very hard at finding the girls he seems to overlook them when he is just about to catch them because he wants them to succeed.
* The Tracker sides with the girls because he seems to sympathize with the girls and does not protest when they give up the search.

How do I end this thing?
* Strong arguments do four things
* Transition into an ending
* Echo the thesis
* Remind the reader of the main points (in this case three)
* End interestingly with an application for you reader.
* Here’s what this looks like……

In conclusion (this transition is a little cliche) , the Tracker desires both the escaped girls’ freedom and the possibility of a free life with his daughter. The Tracker attempts to fulfill this desire by turning a blind eye when he closes in on the girls, sympathizing with them, and through his failure to protest when the other deputy throws in the towel. Sometimes people are forced into situations where outside circumstances disable them from being able to follow their moral code overtly, however the Tracker, in Phillip Noyce’s Rabbit Proof Fence, shows that it is possible to put up a struggle against injustice in subtle ways. While he cannot prevent all injustice, even with his own daughter, he made a difference for the girls from Jigalong.

Wow!!! We’re almost done.

* All we need to add now are transitions between each assertion. This can be as simple as
* First of all….
* Secondly…..
* Finally…..
* Great authors go further with these and make sure they help the paper flow together.
* Here is a link with transitions you can use

http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/Transitions.html

Let’s try it…
* For the rest of the period, we worked on writing an in-class essay. You could use a partner to help, but you must each write your own. Follow the outline to create this.
* I will be grading this using a CIM sheet and will count this toward an attempt at writing a CIM quality persuasive essay. This means if you pass for this one, you pass you CIM!!!
* You can find the CIM grade sheet on the assignments blog.



Homework
Finish your essay at home

Please type. This will give you a chance to read your writing aloud and let you use spelling and grammar check.